1. When you're tense, let me teach you that there are lions in the woods, and we need to leave. NOW!!

2. When you're short tempered, let me teach you how to slog around the pasture for an hour before you catch me.

3. When you're short-sighted, let me teach you to figure out where, exactly, in 40 acres I'm hiding. 

4. When you're quick to react, let me teach you that herbivores kick much faster than omnivores.

5. When you're worried, let me entertain you with my mystery lameness.

6. When you feel superior, let me teach you that mostly, you're the maid service.

7. When you're self-absorbed, let me teach you to pay attention!! (I told you about those lions in the woods...) 

8. When you're arrogant, let me teach you what 1,200 pounds of yahoo-let's-go! speed event horse can do when suitably inspired.

9. When you're lonely, let me be your companion. Let's do lunch. Also breakfast, dinner, and snacks.

10. When you're tired, don't forget the 600 pounds of grain that needs to be unloaded.

11. When you're feeling financially secure, let me teach you the meaning of "veterinary services, additional."

Can you suggest any more?  If so, please e-mail us and we'll add them to this list.

These lessons were passed to us without acknowledging the original author.  If they are someone's copyright, then we apologize but they do appear on many websites, www.horses.co.uk and www.endurance.net  for example, where there are more amusing definitions and there is more horsey humour.

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